Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Checkout Line

I wish to speak with you
ten years from now, you'll be ten years behind.

The words and meanings you carry in your pants, the pick-pocket steals your hopes from time.
and the visions of empty trash receptacles
with their late evening drunken lovers' bouts, at restless end tables.and the bums with their pissing attitudes piss covered clothes, and soiled minds

the clarity of the curbside drunk, picking up shades of filtered cigarettes of twilight scandalous
pickup lovers in their evening best.

And to talk with you ten years from now, you'll be ten years behind.

They're Green Beret head ornaments
detailing the porcelain platforms of Delft
Lining up for one last line to carry them into another faded sunrise at dawn's forgotten memory of yester night
and they walk their gallows holding pridefully their flags of exalted countrymen.

The republic of teacups of literary proficiency.
Wearing the necklaces of paid tolls to an afterlife they find in the miniscule car crashes of engagement with a grinless driving mate in a neighboring car in its pass into the forethought of turned corners.
Where they befell the great disappointment of failure in the frosted eyes of their fathers' expectations.

Who carried the shame of their mother's incessant discontent through short skirts, and high heels.

Who disapproved of the slut whom wore the sneak-out-of-the-house-wear clothing line, and traveled by night over turbulent asphalt by way of sidecar through turn and turnabout hand-over-hand contracts of lover's affection, and slept in tall grasses of wet nightfall with views of San Francisco, and were trapped in the inescapable Alcatraz and Statesville of unconsenting parents and their curfews,

through trials and trails of Skittles leading to after school Doctor visits in the basement of a doting mother, whilst she sits quietly in her exclusive quilting parties with noble equities of partners in knowledge, listening to Edith Piaf and the like,

All the while condemned to time, trapped in the second hand, hand me downs of the 21st century, decades of decadent introverts with their table top unread notebooks, and old forgotten score cards, and the numbers of scholars of years past,

and to talk with you ten years from now will be my greatest pleasure, for you will be....ten year's behind.


They push the sterile elevator buttons, and descend upon the floor of scents flourishing from they're crowded family rooms, only aware of distinctive flavors, in their middle eastern shades of desert gumbo,

Who speak ribbit and alfalfa until midnight of the afternoon, sharing fables of slaughtered giraffes and camels that walked from Kiev to Baghdad in a fortnight,

Who are aware the power is out, but continue to scour for candles in a dark room where candles once burned, where candle wax seals the drawers of where candles can be found.Where once sat gluttonous kings and queens in Sunday attire waiting for words of freedom from the North.

of Florence, Chrastna,Shanghai
of Dempster, Foster, Lincoln
of Dodge, Ford, Shelby

Of concrete fortune tellers in 2nd story tenement blocks with hairy legs, and head lice, wearing beautiful saches of India speaking ribbit and alfalfa.

On their unbirthdays they walk the fish tanks wearing their birthday suits to remind them who serves the food on the floors of the family room fish mongers tactics.

The old men wear gargoyles on their shoulders.

Lo! Fear has crept the glass marbles of their wisdom and fortune, blearing rocket ships and kazoos on the sidewalks of their Portuguese forefathers.

Where ancestry burns cigarette holes in the short-haired blue carpet, where Hoover breaks flood waters of insignificance across hard headed Evangelical trinities.

Who share construction techniques one early morning at four, where questions of Hammer and Fuck build intelligence in secondary faces of nameless twilight lovers, who possess bear blankets, and upheavals, finely wired bushes of pubic maturity. Eating ass and check, tongue and pen.

Where police caress emergency flame retardants over the fire between their legs, wielding the chauvinistic blade of comfort in the backseat of a Yellow faced driving patron.

With their innocent daughters with their nubile thighs, and malleable personalities, which require elite words and jewelry. Wearing wheat buns, Longfellow, and squire.

Holding postmarked cellular structure within their mobile anguish.

Who go curling in their showers, pushing afternoon naps and pretentious frou-frou hats over tainted friendships with their girlfriend's brothers with minimum paychecks'.

Through their narcissus and narcosis, their mirrored perceptions of medicinal scripture of Methamphetamine and elegant five-star meat.

Who amend their words with constitutional forgiveness, in their fascist cloth rampages through groves of learning strategies.and the closets, cupboards, and coins
with rubber hearts, steel balls, and gold loins,

Tall-tales of sock puppet hands with friendly sharing masturbation techniques, dry with envy, colorful scabs, and coagulation of eccentric sexual endeavors,With their social lubricants and their tile feet wardrobes with B-quality Adidas and Reeboks gods of the souls of us. Who possess piceous syndromes of Ouiji boards in their parent’s basements.

When will fire burn another Bush? Spread the fire walls of Chicago, and part grocery store fields of food. Wrapping towels under the doors of smoke filled lungs, on the fingernails of a sleepover between business executives with the neoprene finish of their sons and daughters who attend finishing school, with resumes of oak furnishings,

And I long to talk with you ten years from now,
For you'll be talking ten years behind.

Who profligate their padded inventories breaking Mohammed and Hearst,
laying the pillows of cirrus minor
waiting for the rain to paint the eyes of the scriptures which waft through concrete corridors,
and scent the air with their exalted personas,

With the different channels of confusions, watching dimple past freckle, eating the palms of our tropical mental vocations to achieve purity from the indignation of those whom are contemptuous for lack of innocence in America,
this America, of lack of peace,
of America hold me,
Let me be.

Whom read the letters off music, blearing Sinatra and Krall, Manson where is your contempt?

Manson where is your manipulation of place settings?, you deserve fork and knife, the wounded commandments that regretfully fall like timber in an abandoned sanctuary of Yellowstone,
Manson, with your claws of the heart.
Manson, with your sheik vulgarity of racy cloaks exposing your ladies undercarriage,

Those who take their pets to walk the aisles of famished eyes,
allowing the dorsals of their backsides to wonder aimlessly through Vietnam and Chinaman,
holding peace of mind aware of their chemical leashes and fifteen calorie mental meals, holding hands, unaware of repercussion,

With their vivid recollections of sprinkler and slide, through dew and beyond,
Holding citrus drinks to themselves, apart from pleasure, trapped with excite from sunsets, and in-between.

Withholding reservation of tongue to lung.
Flowing ribbit and alfalfa, in the corridors of expected fragrance.

and to speak with you of ten years from now, will be a pleasure all my own, for you will be talking ten years behind.


They walked outside climbing over mountains of shrapnel, popped collars
and endless buffets of emotion,
driving Claremont all the way to art gallery premiers
and forever waited for plane crash landings
and the phone calls that never came

Glowing black and white cameras
giving modelesque perceptions to all-you-can-eat eyes
giving cigarettes endless chasms of light

Colored pavement trenches and divots
cliffnote alibis
and surgery that lasted until the seamtress had gone into an
endless rest
and
empty cubboards

Classic stools painted with sleepless white smoke and bleached canvas rolling tobacco with the stained yellow window paynes of feral tapestry and overindulgent vernacular

Like a satiated cheeseburger weeping smile simple emotion
on November the 18th celebrations
and Wisconsin out of business sales

Too much comfort, stealing switchboards from the the elderly, constantly putting gibberish into
effortless conversation.

Dormant doormats, with the greetings that never
reached as far as coffee table favelas,
arriving to homes of famished
furniture, awaiting temperate lifestyles and the window sill arguments from padantic literacy

Silver shillings and corporate discovery clogged the persausive
push and shove
to and from

Killing enterprise
loquitious attempt at too soon
much too soon
too soon for forever

Wall to wall post-card collages
happy reminders of the places never visited by drinks in the hands of
those received

Registered to the clouded skies of clib board artists
this arthritis of envy
of bathtub old age
wrinkled matted faces
logged with quick-fixes, anemia, and heart-break

disposed of off the streets
of youth, wheeling and wailing
rolling down striped stairs
of shock and arraignment
holding the hand rails of a wheelchair
suitcase
packed away in a life

Down I-37
into the ochre autumn fallen down leaves
and left memories behind
their green Syphillis eyeglasses

weeping tumuli
recalcitrant
mulish, furrow of beast and beyond

yelling, screaming, howling
at the prurient puerile tilling
of sheets

raping the voices of words
and vomiting the mind into the pockets of the turbulent parambulations
expelled from meat-packing
whispering condescension
and coercing adolescent obsessions
with fame, glamour, and booze

Creeping out into the naked
light of the Darger scale janitorial
closets, carrying the notorious gowns
of red wine spells, backpacks, and pins

henchmen, plaintiff, and youth

All the while
ripping at the incantations of the soul
whispering ribbit and alfalfa
in the guard-rail scars
of the dawns decadent forgotten

II.

these drilling channels of pensive tag
in my tinder trilling drags
October weeps a fearful sight
in red muskets by anthracite

how black in poor repertoire
this love you speak
Tis, or once was

rippling tremble in verdant palms
the registrar whip rang from beyond
and
like the drad unbearable blight
the fires wrestle the morning light

Listening For Her

by lips of strangers
hath touched yours by way of telephone
might I inhale scent of your fragrance through a lustful receiver

Message 18

I have written a writ of love,
unto just exposure of a forboding heart,
and I do speak of broken words
for lips know betterthan my pen proceeds to tell

Milled Green Polenta

a dimly lit bar
a dive into misery
how happy can a man that plays the blues be?
an afro, a white jazz of personality

kick up the bass to vibrate my senses
so excellent
the twinkling of gold fingers
the sax, ever so sexual

just having to move
dancing heartbeats
the guitar man sure can dance
flowing waters on the wall paintings of Gatsby’s American dream

the bar keep is useless
“ What do you want in your coffee,” he asks.
It’s just past 2am“ straight black ”a consistency that allows me to enjoy the finer lights of morning

a crowd of lovers comes about
passionate fires in antique lighters

it’s so late chivalry comes out
but it plays like a fine Steinwayor a summer dress

These fluorescent lights preserve
my memory
so bright

I’ve found Hofner
he dances well
and it’s dark

Here the people make the music
the notes make the staff
and the company makes the evening

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Touched(like an angel)

Is there a reason you dusted up your nose before you came over
put a little heat on your hands, hate in your words
you were so short on the phone I forgot if you were coming

I told you not to park in front before two in the afternoon
they don't like seeing your car in the morning
it blocks the fire hydrant, and we're certainly starting fires

Are you going to avoid kissing me in the elevator to prevent us from getting serious
You're looking at me, but I know you feel me groping at your insides
Look, we forgot to push a button, I bet you just want to leave
We're not even there yet

I know you remember which apartment it is
Especially from the outside, looking at the door close behind you before the dawn
Before I let my neighbors know that I know you

I offer you a drink, not because its easier when your drunk
It's because I don't want to deal with you sober
I can fuck with you better when your not so damn lucid

Sit there
on the ottoman
If you don't throw down that guitar, and stop playing love songs
I'm going to fuck you where you sit
with the blinds open

Why do you always cover up your legs
your breasts
and in-between

Its not like I care about those
could you at least cover up your face
Wear a name tag, give me a washable marker

I'll give you a ride home
after I smoke a cigarette away from you
don't call your mother from my phone
I don't want her to know you were here

I'm not your connect
although when you come over I always score
Next time try not to be so damn immature
try to act a little older
just a little older
than seventeen

Black Saturday, March 4th, 2007

you worshipped blankets, chocolate cake
and friction. over receptionists and
those everyone in balck with tatoos covering
their poor family relationships house parties in Wicker Park
we always took your car and I drove while you drank my Russian Vodka
out of plastic blue cups and your friends drank in the back and spilled their
sexual escapades over the backseat of your car.

When the car was crowded I heard, "Martin our sober stallion and thanks for driving us",
but when it was you and I, I smoked cigarettes to cover up the uncomfortable silence that exhausted us in the bedroom, and kept you withdrawn and me disconnected like your dyslexic car stereo that obsessed over the CD tracks and skipped over details like you did when you were out with your girl friends without me.

And we always met up at 2617 Washtenaw, behind the expressway and a bit down the road from California a trip we took and spent more money on shiny excuses then we did together connecting or even elaborating on the same stories we shared over and over.

Earlier I aksed you to guess that I was going to play "Say Yes", by Elliott Smith, but you were withdrawn, and closed the door in the bathroom,
so I put on the stereo, and cleaned up my frown to make way for artificial cheery eyes, and joined you in the shower to recite Shakspeare especially because we met during the balcony scene.

Love has been rough, so I walked to my Shell and bought fare $5 unexpectedly to drive myself crazy and sad, alone on 94 to spend time away from us, and gather together for my Deppression playlist and another all-night cigarette binge-so surprised I dropped "I drug you" before "I love you", to further your intoxication so when we dried out I'd realize how toxic our relationship has been. Often you traded text-messages with guys named Angel while we watched

In the Obscenities of Rain

Spoke in silhouttes to catch the draft suffocating from the high

a cigarette dropped, than caught between my toes

a never ending happy story adding up to useless appointments to shit

a boring life flown over comfort, subsided on an ending

and cursed into lanes that cross-over anger


The version resides more thoroughly through the slavery that singes upon a crisis.

Afraid, to move.

Saught furnaces to furnish the cold sweats that, engaged

liabilities, and the fucking hell, so, finite, so, intoxicated, too much of the new, took

a belt to beat away the shame, lifted up grown men into little boys-


This just in

segregated by lucidity, perpetual destiny, and manifested hate, limited by the rage

in the order, the turning away, grazing over the typewriter, for a better day, it is the coffin and the cure, the

mediocre and the absurrd, it was the bell and it rang

soddered hands in the obscenities of rain.

Dear Justifiable Anger

You have burned me I admit. I admonish your unhealthy platitudes, your versus and neurosis that corrode over the facade of my evening walks. Plentiful illusions that are just a little bit to empathizing were I, perhaps, a beer shaped jigsaw puzzle on the night time news. Where were we? Laughing about the white line tragedy, the corduroy durability, I was just getting to know a little too much about you and your demoralizing terrential insanity whose infidelity is perhaps a little over wrought upon the nuiansces of post-commercialist expressionism. I cradle your pathetic androgenous mediocrity, I peddle your out-right inaffective morray of self-depravating alleviation of pity. Do you read and write in your own blood? Heavenly seraphs, wing'd to the magnificence of Victorian pageantry exemplify white light new found prophecies that are truly the dieties of mine delicate aural harmony. To speak of, your licentious malificence will inevitably corrode weather and diminish within the lumens of your heathenistic lethargy which is a frayed euphemistic littany of barbaric self-infliction.

To Ales Debeljak

To Ales Debeljak

you've inocculated the chasmous lifelight that strangled the horrors which have bruised the straying phone calls which hang on my eiderdown pillow, while I long for the nurture my mother abandoned before me as I stole her child hood ambitions through the green thievery of my jealous limbs,

perhaps at the fork in my adolescent jestures I will pursue the mediocrity of their heightened animosity upon the papyrus mind spells which fraternize the poetic stifling, I a fledgling that marred upon the mien right of man, I corrupt by a nexilious attention, craving quick punctuation to furnish a girls porcelain breasts to quiet the need within my redolent visionary procreativity I expierenced as an insecure child,

you've immolated your April strategical animosities of annunciated perrenial revelatory intoxications, my nubile motivations unfurl at the helve of my decumbent cumbrous persuasions, I lay motionless and dessicated parused by the elder statesman of this city street insanity,you are my ethereal vowel, my mirth, a bosom I rest my evening lorels upon.

August and Other Incontinence

8:12:07- OK, Computer I'll play part-time prodigy to loosen up the state-of-the-art manacles I may use to bind, torture, and kill tomorrows measurements of anti-trust...Her mouth was an empty curr. I've filled coffins with lilies that didn't bleed this much. Could I ever be the face on the other side of the Optiker?
8:12:07- I stay awake waiting, O' Fortune, wrestle me a pic, last name, favorite color and font. Just joking, though I'd like to have a good cry after a new goodbye, counting up our palate a heavy adjustment on the lens, Figure 8, and just Figuring out ourselves through the day to day doctrines we prescribe to all that comes down to Happy.
Two fixtures planted in a garden, glistening annunciation resting in the corners of my mouth upon plantation to a dream about to wakeup.
Born to places I don't go much anymore, built into an empire of shadows summarized by torn pages simplified by the NorthShore wind. Ryan's complaining is out of fear, jealousy, greed, and Pleasure...coughing up blood and black. Maybe it's time to quit. Already running down adverbs wearing Lycra and four-leaf clovers. Make a wish Cinderella, and maybe today's the day your prince will come.
:13:07-I love that you're a woman Kristina. Last night visions of sand between our toes, hotel sex, and morning showers danced over me like street parade floats with memories specific to days of the week we shared. Wanted Clark's but to be with a me that wouldn't order a Coke or Pepsi no ice, a waffle with whipped cream on the side would have been an appetite depressant. I still taste. This palate misses you. I should've digested more. But I'll make a whisper out of you.

hewn-
querulous-(fiber?)
orgiastic-
relegating-

Page 2 is hanging on by a thread. Icelandic renditions to be allotted this upcoming Sunday night. If reunition occurs will there be prerequisite operative readings of my writings? Noticed a burn hole in a lounge chair several cups of coffee could be shared about on conversational topics rectified by the subtle redolence of CK1.

Could I deck out a life to Air, jungle gyms, playgrounds, sand traps, phone numbers scratched out on neon green tissue paper, the symphony of smiling introductions I acquiesce upon during the docile moments in my after night?

8:16:07- We went to the Wilshire for lunch, she had the grilled tuna filet and wore David Webb. The most beautiful woman in Southern California she was. The Matisse exhibit. I fell asleep in a masterpiece chair, she kissed the top of my head, my cheek, and massaged my shoulders, rousing me from a dream I was having about her. I have a thing for spotting angels, do you see, do you see IT's an angel? Can I cum inside you, and kiss your hair? Squeeze your legs and lick your belly button? Suck your lips and call your father? Am I regretting meaningless rings, shared public places, and amateur films? But I'm so colorful!

Just want to be beautiful(Pretty, Ugly Before) flesh tones and touch-ups, make-ups and feminism. There, an elevator beat. No returns....only perfume...soft blue cotton blankets, bobby pins and Kennedy's. Deep-spells soo thatch work; like creek brush and back paddling, a forced-feed,-lily pads have eyes like mine, smooth on the surface, but submerged by murky waters, covering up it all. Everything is so dissonant. Alizarin. Tope. and Drowsy.
8:16:07- I've taken a pornograph of myself following my death outline on the color-by-slumber dots. I taste poor taste. It's excrement of underground misery. Am I no more than the sickness I hypchondriate within myself?
I'm more artist than obituary. Dangling errands, unfinished sympathies, the cross-hairs focused on my slow recovery. There's blood in my mouth. Wounds. I've begun.
8:17:07- There were a
gi r l
thin, pristine unique
no bicycle with bicycle
small, pristine unique
black black, dark hair
patterns
thin, pristine petite
8:17:07- I'm sawing another limp blood trailing my face, just too recalcitrant to understand. Criss-crossed my brain, flying over disbelief piecing back the incomplete. Required tag games and no-more pain, lists of reasons and helpful sayings. Driveways stitch this anytime Mother, Casper? Are you still alive?
She will make men weep. The air in here is placid, moves in a language that is not flowery, is gray. unfriendly. hurts friends and lovers, leaves plaque on the eyes, and stains the mouth.
Folded over pages and tourniquet smiles plastered to change, and ranging sympathy. No better helping drunk drunks when the dry ones are freezing. condiments diseased. Destination zero is right around the sky, a feeling of beginning a thought come to an end. Sisters of sickness breeding strep throat, universal remotes set music on pause. Hammer heart-break is the Easy Way Out.
8:17:07- Is there no reason, but reason itself to love, cherish, care, adore, admonish, serve, heal, befriend, like, and embedd myself with her. I water bled today at Main & Dodge. track 02 on Five Leaves Left, "Most likely. In(m) trying to figure that out. Talk to u later xx." Text message kissing is a settlement I'll settle for. There is hope there.
08:19:07- Birth of a postcard. Tied strings to static carrying off my sweat dripping face, pellets of insecurity recovering in the minute to minute.
'
Restless reds
Berkshire suites
apostrophe carelessness
nd
Thai sticks, look so suite
secret rendezvous
[I] don't dare ask
8:19:07-Read everything Kierkegaard. Check out Steven Merritt. Look at the sculptures of E.V. Day.
martial exhortation
Introversion to over-reaction like interpreting to audio-biographical late night news to be a reflection in my liner notes. Not sharing my precious territory, wake-up to dilution, a parchment water hugged out, and pulled reason from underneath the singing cuticles of astringents. Hailed from the obvious to a point of presentation, healthy rejection. No more than acquiring the most G.E. to thread bare overtures on the adrenaline shots exposed by overactive voyeurism. Clever-girls, attraction clauses, feather boas in Dallas-town flight plans, getting caught in snack of listening in on secret sharing. Late-night worlds opening up ahead of, slow ambitious discharge, holding reservations for 10en ure among us.
And(we) ask ourselves is it introverted internal post-doctoral picturesque or on-stage illness pervade.
It's not dangerous to hang around me one on one, there is no threat, but the cloud stricken tumuli of my drad energy fear it, as they do, scares the shit out of people....intensity everlasting. Still. Too intense. shutter, click, shutter, click. Vortex obliged.
Borrowed two movies from April, going to have comedic tragedy night, urn alumni of the month. Been thinking about the Chicago purchase of a safety deposit box to stowaway some of the most pronounced emotions, telephone numbers, and speed dial loves. Forever like a golden charge. chum the world with my always eyes and exposure lips. Coughing from the smoke or sickness that might be seeping through? Referencing infidelity by street names out of use Potomac, Maplewood, Allison Ct., Talcott, Chester, and Miner. I'm digging deep now prying ironies for safety in sadness.
I'm involved in buying flowers seasons ahead of their time.
Preparation. Leverage. Amp Gain.
8:19:07- Buy Highwater jeans. Checkout Motorgoat, Calamity Jane, Crackerbash, and Hazel. Reticence-
The words and meanings rattled off carelessly in my head/broken suggestion, muttered phrases, merely caught in what was said/later on I'd drive it out and smoke another cigarette in bed.
I hate Llamas they make me want to shoot myself.
We laid on the brown leather sofa in the house in Laguna. I am on my back, she wearing her Paige denim and a long sleeve white shirt with a gray top underneath. She laughed and giggled, we smiled in childlike bliss, she straddled me, and leaned down to kiss me as I cradled the nape of her neck in the palm of my hand, and kissed her forehead. Love. It was like the heat from the sun(constant). Car rides with hands on legs, hands on necks. We ate expensive lunches, sitting silently, in the aesthetic of connection. Laughing curiously at the dry humor occurring.
8:20:07- Suspect of infection. Contaminated. No fever, but perhaps it's viral, maybe I'll catch the imminent death...1 bedroom apt or petri-dish? Collection of Vasectomy. 40 minutes. I need a wire brush for grooming my paint, the Acrylic Eye of the angry suitor cauterized by the slurring of motives I annunciate into not sleeping to be late to an interview at noon. Seems late. Two thermometers 97.9 and 98.4. Relax me, subtle ease of comfort too close to be convenient or reasonable.
I would've kept the feet, shackled the limbs, and gorged Mothers' secret. I envy, greed, and anguish. This servitude.-97.9 again-will I enterprise pyramids, take slaves, Zeus-fuck the resting, and permeate the timeline with another beginning towards the end

8:26:07

8:26:07- Intrenched in fluorescent sterile light within the confines of this hermetically unpleasant fenestrated Petri-dish of Periwinkle petticoats, meat packing jackets, and evening gowns. Ivigorating blood work, soo;am I running fever? Crayons, paper pen, and hostile apparatus no swab to B-plan drawing out the hours over gurneys and ligature markings like watermark hieroglyhics on lab work that keeps me from painting, penitance, and-I don't think they allow cell phones here.

I'm here because I've either summarized an inviolate of the immenent death or over-prescribed myself to Georgia Restop Number 19. The Ausculatating faces of an RX Nation would resonate well here, rolling white cell undulations that would turn over linen faster than 3rd shift preparations.

November 22nd, 2007

Hello Generals! I've been crimson and dormant inside the nearly corpulent king of me. Hounding for adverb ill-advised writ to move like a trivet caught spokesman on XXX integrity. Left piece of stained tupperware, you will be missed.

All these short car rides of jumbled up communication cutting off buses with rights on reds, gobbled up like banquet style itinereries at a Tony Robbins seminar, Fat Cats and silly puddy make-believe milk carton crates projecting disaster through carpet-tunnel Picasso paintings on Mayor Daleys pocket discipline, four story fame, where is the media camera, televise. project. potently available for the shoot. flash. action. integrity.

Building forts and playing Doctor, herr Doktor; a little lower. Fascinating features enclosed in digital envelopes, waiting, and revived, 3-D glass desires, and pruerile, and carved out of dial-tones to be 3 minute black outs, over and over, and keep running downstairs Justin the breaker doesn't measure up to the reputation I fill on the stereotypes and high-standard Sinatra shock evening expectations I setup for myself regularly. Think back to flash backs, your cocaine predescession, heroin speed balls....I never indulged. Mescaline and mushrooms, capsized tiles and waterfall posters melting into the summer afternoon life-size statues that never were what I saw they were. Was it the gnomes who told you no more LSD?

Destination Flag Staff junkie, ski-slope trip to Indie drummer, chumming blood for a surfers' dream summer job, if you when you speak it's 80% lies that's a lot.

Backwards hat for numbers worn out by number one; and I'm so involved with the providence the transparency is delicious and quite appealing, evolution, height provided I'm more than adequate, operating the Jewish Machinegun comes naturally, especially during the Knish and Cappucino Connection...Byer-Be-Wear. Nouvelle Obey. No irony in fashion. I'm cursing the street signs staring down Idaho from across town in an accident filled head light drama party in lofts too messy to over crowd with conversations about the under-garments that haven't been mentioned soon enough.

I'm not leaving, but I crave the wage. Does the dub-sound system come in 6's? Jim it better be better to leave out for some Revenge before the in-laws soil your petri-dish predictions on how bad laying on the couch will really turn out to be. Being fun never came cheaper. Over-indulge me, please.

Lady, try to push the measure settling cracked open mouths on the chemical compound cure, fuck me up and punch me in the face. Was blood not in the cards? But I'm soo colorful. After life I trade in vine, divinity of the foul divine. Such a tragedy come to rash. Such chords. Such spells. Hors d' ervs anyone?
I recall.
Just that being ready to leave to go out to Pitchfork, with a knapsack of delectables, a button down pink and white shirt with khaki corduroy shorts on, and a girl of red wearing a blonde crown, a smile strewn across her face.
I recall.
Jumping up and down, and remarks were had, like slate chalked equasions of childhood, I was a child, I am childish, and I danced alone that day, and for several days after, I, still dancing alone.
I recall.
Running backwards out of security in the Philadelphia airport in order to smoke a cigarette, leaving her at the gate, with the bags, worry tearing down her cheeks, coming in, and being alive, it was such a life-living occasion.
I recall.
Being at the Wilshire for lunch, her having the grilled tuna filet, and I ordering the angel hair au grandeur de profanation, wearing David Webb the most beautiful paused pristine girl in the Hills, and how lovely, how marvelous the day was, and it was a Tuesday.
I recall.
Bed ridden headaches, luke-warm Matzo ball soup, red horseradish, and apple juice, a smily face cookie bra, and watching the same beginning to the same movie for weeks at a time, sleeping inbetween the clever remarks, Lamarcked into growing into a summer cold.
I recall.
Searching hand over foot for clutches and handbags, wallets, and credit cards, through Walgreens trash cans, parties, cats in the night, heads in the dark, looking over the consonance of sounds too redolent to be sent through text messages, and received by yourself, seeking constantly to be sought after yourself.
I recall.
Writing on car rides, contempously wishing to sleep on sleepless nights, catch phrases in endless stairwells, and climbing fences, with vanity hand grenades on symbolic hand stamps that were similiarly nimbus, and walking alone to the car at 7am in the morning, never to be heard from again.

What Kind of Kiss?

it's that just got home, dinner gets cold on the table, kiss
that jump out of my car during the red light to watch you roll down your window to kiss me, kiss
that mountain air, I'm high on this kiss, kiss
that I skipped school this morning to kiss you, kiss
that tip of your tongue makes me fall in love with you, kiss
that, it was 11:00pm, but now it's tomorrow, kiss
it's that indelible I don't even care about anything more than continuing to kiss you, kiss
that, we just woke up, but I'm going to keep kissing you until we force ourselves out of bed, kiss
that, they make movies from kisses like this kiss
that, my stomachs grumbling because all I've been eating is your lips, kiss
it's that hands over the eyes, arms around the waist, lips wrapped around your face kiss
that double xx at the end of a text message kiss
it's that our lip grooves were made to fit perfectly kiss
that, why would I bother kissing anybody but you kiss
that movie stars kiss like this kiss
that, if I never kiss anyone else every again I wouldn't be missing anything, because this is the best kiss I'll ever have.

Grooves

The sounds of Cuba moved our feet to twists and turns into the bedroom
we screwed like orange juice and vodka all over the dance floor
and rearranged the crowd to fit our elite gourmet footwork

I grabbed the bell of your dress
and haunted your eyes with the lust of my moving decisions
I spoke to the sounds your father warned you about

We isolated in the corner of the oak floor
warping the wood with moves that made feet jealous
spending time flying

Finishing the night
you realized you spent little time in the air
and more of the time in your head
thinking about how great I danced

After Seeing Margot at the Wedding(an introspection)

I've practically almost become an artist. I think quite introspectively on most occasions, and I'm very confident that my personal relationships and intimate relationships are very passive and erudite. It's as if I in my solitudinous rambling through life, walking and speaking, thinking and becoming a person, someone that I like or dislike regularly, I, merely encounter people in skits, like my interactions are just vignettes I attend in order to get back to myself. As if, I, were the only one whom was most important, and with some interactions I find myself totally eclipsed, embedded with others, and some other communications, alterations, integrations have become a mere way of building up hours and minutes to get back to a state of elongated introspection.

My life has the characters, and I was for so long fixated on developing the characters, but now they've all gestated on themselves. There are the women and the men, those girls with whom I went to high school with, some of them whom I quite enjoyed the pulchritudinous aesthetic of sitting next to in class, those whom I thought were aloof, and those whom I spent a bit of time with but always wanted something more of a relationship with other girls more. And of those there are even there evolutionary selves, the way they look today is something to reason with, everyone is becoming more equal now, like a beautiful plane of melancholy and understanding, everyone has developed into a sort of box, sometimes the lid is open for reasoning or compassion, it's envelope slit takes the time out to participate in life and other times it's totally closed off, and no amount of meddling can even get a response out of it. There are those girls whom are in college, who are getting laid less now, than when boys were curious back in under-education playing doctor or investigating what fooling around was like, there the girls who just want the romance, hopeless romantics not, but more tragic romantics, always searching, not for the boy that will make them okay, but for the same boy that left them, that they left, that is always more or less leaving them, and you encounter these girls, and they flirt or give you their number, even maybe will play around with you mentally, articulating conversations and allowing you to get to know them, but they are always telling you about their desires, asking you what "he" would like, and the self is becoming an object of integration, like a metaphor for magnetically dissattraction, the humanity of a person completely absolved into someone elses losses or distractions.

There are the girls who were totally neglected as children, whose fathers had little interaction with them as children, who find fucking to be a way to ignore their parents needs for their success, they find comfort in drugs and books, the theater and the gay makeout partner. They dress very accurately to the model you won't find in a Cosmo, but rather the newest fashion trend and the latest Romance novel syndicated by a book entitled "The Manual". There are of course also those women with which no category could be entailed, they are of course the least comprehended by men and their friends. And we as men love them, because it's what we do, we remember stupid little things, like the way they prepare themselves for bed or the way they talk to their mothers, their driving habits, and how long they brush their teeth for, and we're constantly always looking for them, our mother, our last and first loves, are reason to be, and comprehend ourselves.

The more we distance ourselves from our own introspective channeling of enertia, desires, copulation with the world through media or nature, our intense virile constraints for the evolution of man, the way that we feel boldly abhorred in the contemplative expierence, constantly striving for a relationship. And though we don't masturbate in front of our mothers or walk around naked in our homes, although puerile we did when we were younger in alternative forms, now we just stay almost completely impotent in ourselves. And I have become a true form of this, I totally see all the possibilities, and I'm so terribly afraid to just wrap the scarf around my neck and love the snow flakes falling down on the black wool jacket I'm wearing out, and just go for a girl with long hair and a porcelain face who doesn't shave her pubic hair and is just a woman. I have a thing for women. I like all of it. Most of all I like the principal behind sexuality, humanity, compassion. It's all very in-exclusive, and I can no longer carry a guillitine of shame around with me like a wallet-sized accessory to cut down others.

There are the men of our lives, so elusive and aloof, drug binging and fashion idolized, constantly seeking for fame and power, and what does this power bring about more distance and dis-substance from relationships and communications. Our nature totally obstinate of introspection anymore, we terrorize others and judge, and for what, to be further removed from any relationship that had a plausibility of a construct that we could be connected.

So keeping the fluorescent idle lights of blue in the bedroom and painting and writing, speaking in the argots of arrogance and pooling together friendships, relationships, loved ones, and moving towards a universal compassion a construct for unity through exclusiveness, sitting in the foyer, visitng all the rooms, but constantly being a greeter, and returning only to ourselves for a feeling that being sought is more worthwhile than seeking. And I execute days by attending films that I can identify with. Totally compassionate, totally independant relevant and identifiable. I can identify finally. And though perhaps this a fleeting moment, a present for the chance to feel connected to myself, nature, and the past. Whatever the nature of my nurture to myself, bridling on the reins of today, and keeping together with those that I understand to be highly developed, an interior of a world without constraint of tongue to lung, and spoken out loud between friends on caffeine drips and across town on cell phone lines. Connected, ha! Like a free-basing of expierence, honesty, and a convivial sense of being a part of. No matter who. Even if I understand the whys, and understand the distance. Here and now, for everyone, here and now, we all will be walking under the same snow.

12:08:07

12:08:07- I cut across the clear impassive clearing, all snow flakes and soddering irons, the residue of Eagles Nests, blue and white scarves, and let downs jotted out clearly for me across the bi-lingual lingo of the ochre hazard lights on the field. Driving around like a noose of soot and sorrow, track-marks and cribbage in the vacant states of subway station unconscience pick-pockets. Tick-tocketing my alarm clock stop watch, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. How loley, irreverant oak satires agape on Anthrax Island ice capades.......sarcasm, an attempt at constructing a jocular personality. Rich in Wakeman and horseshoe gallery shootings. To deem impassive is to oblige the domain, and I don't.

I am asexual. Nothing inspiring or raw, fresh, and flint except for the occasional Krist-like state, an influx of darkroom stares and concave hallucinations. Words like disco, post-script, climax, and fertile used to mien something, now folding up silence between the molars and canine upper lip twist down to the tongue flesh tango cherrypit in the bottom of my butterfly filled stomach and a headful of blues, is fleeting not freeing. Bordeom vs. execution. Or am I Caesar returning to Rome. the Ivory Coast for me. Could a mosaic maker be the host of inspiration the blooming perennials require. Sulking in exile, a couch cushioned fall for the never-ending-story, all along Division Day, supine, decumbent, and soporificm all sprawled out on croquet and obediance, wrestling with the dusk against the storm.

Dear Ambulette,

Dear Ambulette,

There have to be cookies invovled. It's kinda a prerequistie for me. I also like to eat Kumquats and Lemons, beading can be fun as well. Just so you know, you have a great voice, like Lavender shooting stars. We should probably prepare for winter in the appropriate Chicago manner. The characters are developing nicely, don't you think? Do you check the window panes for weather channel theories as well? I do.I'm curious. I know we talked about bed time stories Cap un Cap and rulers. Soo....can color wheels spin out of control and contract feelings, I'm not sure but I'd love your opinion. Further more everything is really vowel and onomatopoeia, I'll tourniquet in tea kettle question marks, quotations, and song lyrics. Put an extra blanket on the bed. We're all sleeping in tonight.

Martin

The Lexus ES 300 Black

9:11:07- 11:31pm. This hole has filled up with a scar and it peels on late-night roadways, on eiderdown satin comforters, on Thursday night dinner reservations that havn't happened yet, during painting, through scattered penmanship, whispering secrets behind frosted bathroom glass, without ice, on the side of waffles, in the corners of eyes, cered on Paige jeans, littered on the paint of the 2001 Lexus ES300 Black, threaded in blonde, cat-scratched on hands, ripping through Park Ridge in Germanic tongue, and eagerly awaiting every kiss that will leave me Breathless tearing off my lips and sending search parties through Wicker Park with Ralpax on their palms, and prayers in their eyes.

12:15:07

I have secrets that I hide in the folds behind my Vanillin face. this unclean business life unfurls at my fingertips, holds onto hip bones, and treads to safety. Within our morphine sty, inside this vase, we lie in vain. Sometimes we thieve the snow, sullen drawals draped behind the serene. So we crave the hour, make time into a trammeled arch, today what was said seems like a simple act, but Orson Wells set down your Bell Jar, your keys, and sift through the pain awhile. This night you stay in crowded fights, your afterglow glimmering, your nacreous shell, I laugh how it tries. Between the mattresses where your heavy tricks playout and courage strives for when the symptoms fade. Periodically, we take this dance and wind up spilling like Orchids at a teenage wake. Hung up on numbers invited to the still, just watch how I procure yesterday. Today has been ripe for the grieving, crisp burnout for the specialty.

12:25:07

1:20am. The plot lines thicken in the molasses applicated frown lines on the brow of his crossed face. In the opening sequences we see his hand half-cupped and forced into the slit of her mouth, him stabbing her in hate and angst between the legs with his mighty penmenship, raping her voice of a scream, speechlessly substracting any conscious consonant from her vocal cavity.

He never is asked his name for it is a useless enzyme he wishes was altered, we can see his teeth are decayed, his cowardly movements swaying and ripening to a nod that wraps its' nauseatic hips around the folds of the cotton sheets and shouts and shouts back and forth playing tug-of-war with her emotions, with the sunrise, it's just four-tunate that it's nearly dawn, and he withdrawls in temptation and harvests her last breath in the vice of his rosined, youthless, mannacles.

Some may say our felon is a thief, but has he not stolen that which ws so freely pushed in front of him. Her pink pantie strip tease, an image for you




a perfectly shaven lunchbox
of adolescent enjoyment,
a harvest for the farmers feast,
and when he extends his
God-sized love to her, she
threatens his heartbeat

and forces him to protract his finite temper into an assortment of moans and grumbles.

He puts his clothes on and says he'll leave, answers a deaf phone ring, and eventually regrets his life, hangs a noose for himself in a door jamb, and swings out his lifes' sentence. "I love her, she Loves me not."

It goes on like this, occasionally the fuck in airplane bathrooms, sometimes he allowed to wet his finger beneath the slip of her dress, he encourages her that is actively involved in her. She know that he is not just manifesting her as a physical construct.

He denotes that her flavors are elongate his breath, rest his heart rate, and slow his thinking, he is happiest with her, and stays awake at night lying in the presence of his extended pleasure-the presence of her. He wishes to not waste any moments, for he is sure that she will sear his fate, as she does, as they all have done to him.

On one particular day they travel to a mall, he wears jeans and a quarter-length sleeved grey t-shirt with an equilateral triangle and the date 1973 imprinted on the logo, she wears a grey long-sleeve shirt and jeans as well. They enter into an Abercrombie & Fitch and move quickly to the fitting rooms. Whenever they copulated in public places he made sure she was always pleased prior to entry.

The slow frequent hum of her post-pleasure bliss cradled his flesh, his inner-monologue could understand the dialect of her inverse dialogue. Together they were always solid, and apart they were vacant. Perhaps this is why they always endured grave misunderstandings apart.

He regrets not taking photographs of them together all the time, not capturing their mutual existance. But perhaps that was the Royalty of their positions.....his frequent trips to the garage for soda, her cuddling wrap around back massages, his nect line kissing, and her drowning sleepless surrender, and yet the list goes on with her Pink Sugar parfume, his regular routine, and an end-table, final night, close curtain-call for a subdued never sent letter post-dated to Aphrodite and collecting happy thoughts on cherry-colored lips, illyiac hips, long drives down the coast in a rental route that exponentially grew to be a fascination for discouragement, flailing its' overgrown dishonesty and life-sized chastity lies to cover-ups and blankets, marketed wishes on fallen star birthday cake candles that washed up on the self-serve incandescent decorations that he blew out on a birthday cake, a fwesssh....and never came true.

Perhaps we can derive our own expierence from a story such as this , perhaps it holds are coldest nights at the end of our naked fingertips, and in the future we listen to our instincts instead of growing past our inocculous obscure infidelity, our desire to be man and woman, morning at dawn.

Monday, December 24, 2007

These Artists & Poets[a gangster rap for Ryan Shultz]

I've got friends that are crazy artist types
that don't wipe and stay up all night
And I write, cuz I'm a genius poet
but I talk in a way that you wouldn't know it

Ryan Shultz might win the Pulitzer Prize
for painting the reality from out of his eyes
My boy Tom
creates visual psalms
that make even God jealous
but he's a crazy recluse isolator whose over-zealous

These painters and sculptors, potters alike
with their insatiable brushes and million shades of white
are prophets on canvas, an atlas of knowledge
in their pictures on parchment, whom possess brilliant collages

But their ain't nothing heavier in weight than the nib of my pen
when I pull out my 70 caliber quill, I'm not about to pretendto write-

"Chorus"
I've got ink, like a razor light, lightin' up the night
too quick to make a scene
poems that tell where've been
these artists and poets, collectors of memory
are prophets from God
enablers of creativity

-I write 16th Century verse
and I don't gotta curse
and I write so well
that I'm putting women under my spell

My romantic antics will push you away
with clerical lyrics that avoid and devoid contemptuous frays
And my girl Kris
with her super-soft lips
keeps the Art Institute of Chicago at her fingertips
with phenomenal works of the mind, ahead of her time
gifts to fine canvas
people will be lookin' after her work far longer than the Atlantis

Creatin' a debate of conviviality
So lucid it's like an alternative reality
she's always leavin' art students paintin' emphatically

And fish tank sculptures
that attract the fish like vulturous piranhas
but leave malicious fishermen in a state of nirvana
Plus, it's like she's got the diversity of Roger's Park
and it's her favorite thing to have people remark, the parts
of their favorite paintings
while she's busy contemplating a fresh new piece
and cuz she's so prolific it'll be done by this week

Yet I've just recently engaged in a display of presumptuous truth
an energetic informational array of writing for curious youths
I'm standin' at a podium, an auditorium of life
my words are serrated with intelligence and cut like a knife

there will never be a completion of art
and my prolific written word will tear history apart
so I'll keep on writin' with this pen of my mouth
until the genius of my persona is spread all around